As a rule, people tend to be entirely consumed by thoughts of what they want from others, without trying to understand what others want for themselves. By shifting your attention to the desires and motives of others, you easily get what you want for yourself. All you have to do is work out where your partner’s internal intention is focused. Whenever you need something from a person, to gain their favor or encourage them to do something, ask yourself this question: “What does this person want? What motivates them and what are they interested in?” Direct your actions towards realizing your partner’s intention and they will willingly reward you with the same.
Interpretation
In one way or another, all the problems we face with other people result from conflicting internal intentions. Motivated by their own interests, people are inevitably trying to get something from someone else while that person is thinking down entirely different lines, focused instead on what’s important to them.
Use other people’s internal intention to achieve your own goals.
A person’s sense of self-worth lies at the very foundation of their internal intention. Beyond life itself, nothing is more important to a person than his or her own sense of self-worth. Shift your attention from yourself to other people.
Stop playing the game of increasing your own worth. Play the game of making other people feel greater self-worth. To attract attention to yourself, it is enough to show interest in others. Don’t talk to people about what interests you; talk to them about themselves and the things that interest them.
Your personal strengths and weaknesses are what interest your partner least. What they are most interested in is the feeling of self worth they experience when they are talking to you.
How can you motivate someone to do something? Present the task to them in the light of how it will increase their sense of self-worth and they will be want to be involved.